Stirb Nicht Vor Mir
by Tacuma
Summary: Fuji Yoshiko thinks her oldest son has an imaginary friend. Fuji knows Tezuka-kun is real. He died, but he is real, and he is waiting for Fuji. TezuFuji


The title from this fic is in German, because this fic is based on one of the songs of Rammstein. Most of the lyrics are in German, but I used the English version in this fic, except for a few times, since I prefer the German ones XD Stirb Nicht Vor Mir means 'Don't Die Before I Do'.

**Title: **Stirb nicht vor mir  
**Writer: **Tacuma  
**Pairing: **Perfect Pair  
**Genre: **AU, romance, angst  
**Word count: **3908 words  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Warnings: **Character death  
**Disclaimer: **I do not own Prince of Tennis, nor do I own the song Stirb nicht vor mir, it's from Rammstein.

* * *

**Stirb Nicht Vor Mir**

_I know that sometime  
someone will love me_

A little honey-haired boy came home from school, took off his shoes, and stepped into the living room of his house. His school was only a few streets away, so the seven year old could go there on his own. His mother greeted him when he entered the room.

'Okaeri, Syuusuke.'

'Tadaima, Okaa-san,' answered her son, but he wasn't smiling like he normally did.

'Is something wrong?' asked Yoshiko, a little worried. Her son always smiled. Since his birth, he had been a very cheerful kid.

The little Fuji shook his head. 'I'm fine. I want to play with Yuuta. Is he in the garden?'

His mother nodded, and watched her son leave. She was still wondering if something was wrong. Whatever was wrong with her little boy, she hoped he would be alright.

But the next day he had the same look on his face when he came home from school. He didn't greet his mother, and went straight to his room. Yoshiko followed him with something to drink, and some chocolate cookies. She found her son sitting in the furthest corner of his room, on the bed. He hugged his knees, and kept them tightly against his chest.

'Syuusuke, I have a snack for you,' she said as she put the tray on his desk. Then she sat down next to him.

'What's wrong, honey? Don't you like going to school? Did the other kids bully you or did you get a bad grade?'

The boy shook his head. 'No, I'm fine.'

'You're not,' said Yoshiko. 'Normally you're always smiling and you're such a nice and happy boy. Today you're not smiling, so you must feel sad. You can tell your mother about it.'

'He is very ill,' said Syuusuke suddenly.

'Who is?' asked his mother.

'The boy. The boy with glasses is really ill. He might never get better.'

The next day Yoshiko brought her son to school. She wanted to talk to the teacher about this boy that was so ill. Was it one of her sons friends?

'Excuse me, sensei,' she started. 'I was wondering if one of Syuusuke's friends is ill. He has been sad the last few days. He told me a boy with spectacles is really sick.'

'Fuji-kun?' the teacher said surprised. 'I didn't notice it yet. But I wonder who he is talking about. He plays alone most of the time. None of the kids are ill, and none of them have spectacles.'

Confused Yoshiko left the classroom, and went home. Her little boy hardly played with kids in the neighbourhood. She would ask for the boy's name when her son would come back from school, but when he came back he was smiling again, like he always did. She sighed relieved as he greeted her like normal, and ate some cookies. She didn't notice how the smile disappeared when he walked up the stairs.

_I cry softly into time_

_Don't die before I do_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

_I don't know who you are  
I know that you exist_

'You really should come as soon as possible,' said the voice on the other side of the phone to Yoshiko. 'He is upset. He is shaking and crying, and it won't stop. He pushes me away when I try to comfort him, and he won't tell me what is wrong.'

The worried mother immediately ran to the school of her oldest son. She couldn't imagine what was wrong with her Syuusuke. The things she heard from his teacher; she has never seen him like that. She pushed open the door to the school, and quickly walked to his classroom.

There were no kids in the classroom. All of them were playing outside with another teacher. The only ones left were her son, and his teacher. Yoshiko could hear him crying, and her heart broke. Never had she heard him cry like that; it was so heart wrenching. She hurried towards him, and took him in her arms. He wrapped his little arms around her, and buried his face in her coat.

'Syuusuke,' she whispered. 'What happened, Syuusuke?'

The boy didn't stop crying. For a few minutes he held his mother tightly. His loud cries turned into silent sobs as his mother made him sit on one of the chairs. She kneeled down in front of him, and looked into his bright blue eyes.

'Tell me what happened, Syuusuke.'

Tears appeared in the boy's eyes again.

'He died,' he said. His voice wasn't more than a whisper.

'Who died, Syuusuke?' Yoshiko asked. 'Somebody on television or in the book you were reading?'

The little boy shook his head. 'My friend,' he said, and tears fell from his eyes again.

'An imaginary friend?' the teacher asked Yoshiko, but the mother shook her head. 'I'm not sure,' she answered. 'Syuusuke, did that bespectacled boy died? The one you told me about a while ago? The boy was ill, wasn't he. Did he die?'

Syuusuke nodded. 'He died this morning.'

'Maybe you should take him home,' said the teacher. 'I can't teach the other children when he is like this.' Yoshiko nodded, and took her sons hand. 'Let's go home, Syuusuke. I'm sure the boy will be happy, where ever he is.'

The honey-haired boy pulled his hand away from his mother's. 'He promised me to wait!'

The two women didn't know what to do, so Yoshiko roughly grabbed his hand, and pulled him out of the classroom, out of the school. They walked home in silence. A few minutes later they arrived home, and Yoshiko brought her son to the living room. She made some tea, and took it back to the living room. There she found her son staring into nothing. He seemed far away. She shook his arm to wake him up from his trance. He looked up at her with his big blue eyes.

'I don't belong here anymore,' he said. With a shocked expression the mother looked at her seven year old son.

_Sometimes love seems so far_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

_I don't know who he is  
In my dreams he does exist_

'You look happy,' said Yoshiko to her son when he came down the stairs. He had been sad for days. He didn't want to go to school, he didn't want to play, and he started to cry at random moments. But now he was smiling again.

'He was here last night. He visited me in my dream,' said Syuusuke.

His mother held her breath. She thought his weird story about the boy would be over now he had 'died'. Was her sons imagination running wild?

'The boy who died was here?' she asked, and she showed a small smile. Maybe if she played along with her son he might tell her more. Or, even better, he would stop this ridiculous story about that boy.

'Yes,' answered the little Syuusuke. 'He told me his name. I told him my name years ago, but it seems he trusts me enough now.'

'So, what is his name?' asked Yoshiko.

'Tezuka Kunimitsu,' answered her son. 'I can call him Tezuka-kun.'

'That's really nice,' said his mother with a fake smile on her face. 'So, who is he exactly?'

'You don't know?' asked Syuusuke and his smile disappeared from his face. He thought that of all people his mother would know. 'He is the other half of me. I thought I'd be alone forever now that he had died, but he's waiting for me.'

_Ich warte hier_

Yoshiko gasped. Her seven year old son told her that a dead boy was waiting for him. Was her son seeing ghosts? Would her son die as well? Was that why he was waiting? Waiting for the right moment to take her son away from her? This was all Yumiko's fault for playing with occult things! Crying she ran out of the room, leaving her little boy behind with tears in his eyes, not knowing how much he longed for her to understand him.

_Ich warte hier_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

_I know that sometime  
someone will love me_

For more than a year Yoshiko searched everywhere for a person named Tezuka Kunimitsu. She brought Syuusuke to school, and picked him up as well. She didn't let him to go alone anywhere, afraid something would happen. When the boy was at school, she searched on the internet, in telephone books and in archives, until she finally found a boy with the name Tezuka Kunimitsu. She contacted the family, and made an appointment with the mother of said boy. Two days later a woman with long brown hair in a ponytail stood in front of their door.

'Tezuka-san?' asked Yoshiko. The other woman nodded, and Yoshiko let her in. She brought the dark-haired woman to the living room, and offered her a cup of tea.

'I'm sorry for asking you to come here,' Yoshiko said. 'I know it's a bit sudden, but…' suddenly she didn't know what to say. How could she say that her son said he was meeting the son of this woman, while the boy had died more than a year ago? But then she remembered Syuusuke's sadness when he said the boy died ,and she remembered how she heard him talking when there was no one else in his room.

'I'm sorry to ask such a personal thing, but, do you have a son?'

Ayana's eyes widened. 'I had,' she said. 'He died. More than a year ago. Why do you want to talk about him?'

Yoshiko felt bad about asking the woman about this. It was obvious she didn't like talking about it. 'I'm really sorry about that,' she said. 'My son, for a few years he is talking about a boy named Tezuka Kunimitsu. He says they're friends. I thought it was an imaginary friend, but a year ago he suddenly started crying and shouting in his classroom. We tried to calm him down, and then he told us that his friend had died. I asked him about this friend, and he said strange things. He said that the boy was his other half, and that he was waiting for him.'

'Your son, is his name Fuji Syuusuke?' Ayana asked. When Yoshiko nodded, Ayana closed her eyes, and tried to prevent her tears from falling.

'I have never seen your son,' she said. 'But Kunimitsu once talked about him. He talked about a boy named Fuji-kun. I thought it was a boy he met at school or at his tennis club, but there was no boy named Fuji there when I asked his teachers about it.'

'How could they have ever met?' asked Yoshiko. 'They live miles from each other!'

At that moment the oldest Fuji son came down the stairs. When he saw Ayana sitting on the couch, his eyes widened, and for a few moments he looked at her.

'You're Tezuka-kun's mother,' he stated. It wasn't a question.

'Yes, ' said Ayana. 'You must be Fuji-kun.'

'I am,' answered Syuusuke. 'Tezuka-kun said that he is happy. He misses you, his father and grandfather and he is sorry he left you all so early.'

Tears started to stream down the face of the brown-haired woman. It was definitely something her son would say. Even though he was still so young, he was always polite, and he thought of others. How could this boy know what her son would say?

'He told me a few days ago,' continued Syuusuke. 'I guess he knew I would meet you.'

'Where did you meet him?'

'During the night,' said the little boy softly and with a smile he stared into nothing for a moment. 'I asked him not to die before I do, but I guess he couldn't help it. He is waiting for me now.'

_Stirb nicht for mir_

Ayana still cried. She wiped away her tears with a tissue. 'Why is he waiting for you?'

'We belong together,' said the honey-haired boy. 'With him, a part of me died.' Then he turned around and went up the stairs again.

'He is seeing ghosts,' said Yoshiko when her son couldn't hear her anymore.

Ayana looked at the stairs where the fragile boy had disappeared. Was he real? This woman said that he was seeing ghosts, but her son seemed so unreal himself. His white skin, his soft voice, his eyes that seemed to look through your soul. It was like indeed a part of him had died.

_Stirb nicht vor mir_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

_In my dreams he does exist_

Two days after Ayana had visited the Fuji family, Yoshiko called an exorcist. If there was really a ghost that was taking over her son, it had to go, even if it was Ayana's son. She called a man that was known as the best exorcist of the country. It was expensive, but if her Syuusuke would turn back to his usual happy self, it was worth the money.

Two days later the man entered the house.

'I don't feel a ghost,' he said as he walked around the house. 'Why do you think there is one? Did you see it? Hear it? Feel it?'

'My son is possessed,' said Yoshiko. 'He is talking to someone when he is alone in his room. He is saying that his friend died. A boy he has never met in real life, but died more than a year ago. It must be his ghost that is haunting him. I don't want him to lure my son into the darkness.'

'Even if that boy is a ghost, he is not here,' said the exorcist. 'I don't feel him at all. Are you sure your son doesn't have an imaginary friend?'

'No!' shouted Yoshiko. 'I talked to the mother of the dead boy. It is really her son he is talking to. You have to get rid of him. I want my son back!'

'I'm sorry lady, but I can't help you,' answered the exorcist ,and he walked down the stairs. There he saw a pale boy with honey-brown hair, and unearthly blue eyes. He walked towards him. 'Where do you meet your friend?' he asked.

'During the night,' said Syuusuke. 'He is visiting me almost every day.'

'What does he look like?' asked the man. 'Have you ever touched him? Was it cold?'

'I touched him,' was the answer. 'He took my hand one day. It was warm. He said our hands would always fit perfectly in each others, even if I would grow. He would grow as well.'

'I'm sure you will,' said the man and he smiled at Syuusuke. The blue-eyed boy smiled back ,and the exorcist turned towards Yoshiko.

'Whatever it is your son is seeing, it is no ghost,' he said. 'Ghosts aren't warm, and they won't touch humans. They don't grow either. It's your son, not a ghost.'

The man left and Yoshiko stared at her little boy. He stood silently in the middle of the room, and looked at her. She could see he felt sad.

'You should believe me.'

_I only wait for you_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

_The night opens her lap  
_

Out of desperation Yoshiko sent her oldest son to a mental home. She couldn't handle him at home anymore. She couldn't look him in the eyes and she was afraid to touch him. Even when Syuusuke started to smile again, and acted like his usual self, she couldn't forget what had happened. She could see that she hurt him, but whatever she tried, she couldn't force herself to love him like she did before. The only thing she could do was send him away.

And so she brought him to a mental home. Yoshiko told her son it would be fun, like a camp. The name 'mental home' made it sound like a comfortable place, but as soon as they arrived, he could see it wouldn't be fun or comfortable at all. The house looked nice, with lots of rooms, and one big place where all of them could eat together. But it was silent, so silent, except for the nice lady that kept talking while she showed them around, and brought him to a room that would be his.

He didn't cry when his mother cried and forced herself to hug him. He didn't hug her back. He didn't beg her to take him back home. All Syuusuke did was smile, and wait until his mother was gone. Then he turned around and looked. He had to share the room with a boy that talked to himself, and made strange noises. The lady who showed him around introduced him to the noisy boy. Neither of them said 'hi'. They just looked at each other for a second, before the little Fuji turned around, and walked towards the bed that would be his. He dropped his bag and looked out of the window, hoping that his only friend would find him here.

_The child's name is loneliness_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

_It is cold and motionless_

For ten years Fuji Syuusuke stayed at the mental home. For ten years he didn't say a word to any of the people that surrounded him. Not to the people that took care of him. Not to the teachers. Not to the other boys and girls. Not to his family, who came to visit him now and then. Not to the psychiatrist, who tried to find out why the boy didn't talk. All he did was smile and the psychologist decided he had a trauma, but that he couldn't do anything as long as this boy wouldn't talk.

_Someone will love me_

Every day after class, Fuji would go back to his room. He never played with the other kids. He knew he didn't belong among them. He wasn't insane. He was only here because nobody believed that his dead friend was waiting for him, so that one day they could be together. Tezuka, the only person that he did talk to, at night, when the noisy boy who he shared a room with, was finally quiet. The only time Fuji's smile was real. The only time he didn't feel lonely. Tezuka had kept his promise. He waited. He visited Fuji every night in dreams. Sometimes they talked, sometimes they didn't. Words weren't always necessary. They sat together until Fuji was too tired, and fell asleep with a smile on his face. Tezuka kept his other promise as well. He grew. Even though he wasn't alive, he grew up, just like Fuji, until they were both fine young man. Their hands still fitted perfectly together.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Ten years later, when Fuji had become eighteen, he had to leave the mental home. He was too old to stay between the children. He was a grown-up now. He couldn't stay. His mother wanted him in a mental home for adults, but the supervisor had said that Fuji could go home again.

_All the houses are covered in snow_

After so many years of hardly seeing the world outside, Fuji went home. It was winter, and it was snowing softly. It had been years since Fuji had heard the sound of snow under his feet. He smiled as he walked through the gate. He didn't turn around. He knew the people who had taken care of him for ten years where watching him leave. They would miss the mysterious and silent, but sweet and polite boy.

When they arrived at home, Fuji opened the door to his room. Not much had changed. Time had stood still in this room, while the owner had grown. He placed his bag in the room before heading downstairs again. His father had come home from abroad to celebrate his home coming. It had been years since they had seen each other. His father didn't know what to say. He just stared at his son, and felt guilty. He had never been there for his wife or his son. Now Syuusuke was back. He hadn't changed much. He had grown, but his skin was still pale, and his hair still sleek. There was a smile on his lips, but his eyes didn't join them.

'Syuusuke,' he whispered. 'I missed you.'

The boy didn't answer. His fake smile got a little wider and he closed his eyes. Not showing any of his real emotions. Yoshiko started to cry. She hadn't seen her son in a year, too afraid to visit him. Now he was back home and she felt guilty, so guilty, every time she saw his smiling face. She had turned her happy, talkative son into a sad mute.

Fuji went to his room, leaving his parents behind to comfort each other. He sat down on his bed and crawled into the far corner. He didn't cry. After ten years of crying alone in his room, he had no tears left. He stared at the wall and waited until night would fall.

_And candle light in the windows_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

_His passion is a kiss  
And I can not resist_

Fuji stayed awake that evening, like he did every evening, waiting for Tezuka to come. The snowing had stopped, but it was still cold, so Fuji wrapped the blankets tightly around his shoulders. It didn't take long before Tezuka arrived, knowing Fuji would be home again.

'I missed you,' said the blue-eyed boy.

'Me too,' answered Tezuka and he seated himself on the bed. 'Are you ready?'

'I am,' said Fuji. 'I don't want to stay with a man I hardly know and a mother that is scared of me.'

'Come with me then,' said Tezuka. 'I've waited long enough.' He offered Fuji his hand and the honey-haired boy gladly took it.

'Tell me Tezuka, why am I the only one who can see you?'

Tezuka wrapped his arms around Fuji's neck, and held him close. 'You already know, Fuji. I can never rest without you.'

Fuji buried his face in Tezuka's chest and cried .

'I love you,' he whispered.

'I love you too.'

_With his hands around my neck  
I close my eyes and pass away_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

_They lie there together_

In the middle of the night Yoshiko woke up. She had heard something. Without making a sound she climbed out of her bed, not bothering to wake her husband. She walked out of the room and listened again. It came from Syuusuke's room. She listened at the door and heard her son talking, and somebody was talking back to him. She couldn't hear what they were saying.

Yoshiko was too afraid to open the door. She could have known, she should have known that staying in a mental home wouldn't help her son at all. Whoever and whatever he was talking to, it was the only person Syuusuke opened up to. Shivering and with tears in her eyes she went back to bed.

_No words are left to say_

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

The next morning Yoshiko entered Syuusuke's room to wake him up for breakfast. The bed was empty. She looked around, but he was no where to be seen. The window was opened and a cold wind was blowing snowflakes inside. Slowly Yoshiko approached the window, looking outside, into the garden. There were no sight of her son, nor where there footsteps in the snow, even though it hadn't snowed last night.

_And I,  
I only wait for you_

* * *

I'll try to stop writing all those sad and angsty fics! Sorry!  
But I hope you liked it anyway!


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